{home}  {contact}

 

 
 

 


 
     
 
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bull Red
Bull Red may not be the first wine-in-a-can released stateside, but it’s no doubt the most energized. The 100% Gamay base (consisting of leftover 2007 Beaujolais Nouveau) has been enhanced with sucrose, glucose, sodium citrate, carbon dioxide, taurine, glucouronolactone, caffeine, inositol, niacin, pantothenic acid, vitamins B6 and B12, caramel, riboflavin and—mais oui—ethyl alcohol. Giddy up!

 

 

{top}

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Le Chard-O-Pump
With elegant packaging befitting its provincial origin, this Pays d’Oc Chardonnay is designed to fit gracefully in any part of your home. A gentle push of the pump and the splendors of the French countryside come gushing forth, redolent of lavender, hyacinth, sandalwood, honeysuckle and lemon zest. Meanwhile, the airtight seal ensures that this one-liter package will keep the Chardonnay fresh for weeks.

 

 

 

 

 

{top}

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
 

 

RP96
Introducing the ultra-uber-cult wine. Screaming Eagle is as common as a Britney Spears meltdown compared to this exotic nectar, of which exactly three cases have been made. It was dubbed RP96 simply because it’s so obvious that Robert M. Parker Jr. would love it that the producers wanted to spare him the trouble of reviewing it (and thus are able to sell all 36 750ml bottles). Culled from old-vine Shiraz and Zinfandel grapes that were allowed to hang on the vine through November and then dried on straw mats before being inoculated with super yeasts to maximize fermentation conversion, this bone-dry, soup-thick red checks in at a remarkable 18.5% alcohol (37 proof!) yet its impression on the palate is surprisingly balanced, thanks to the thwack of “300%” new oak (12 months in new French barrels, 12 months in new American barrels, 12 months in new Slovenian barrels). You will never forget this wine, for three simple reasons: 1) the brash young tannins will rasp your cheeks; 2) the reverberating finish will give you acid reflux for a week; and 3) a case of the stuff costs more than a mini Cooper. 

{top}

 

 

 

 

 

 

BYOC Wine
What with Barry Manilow, Manny Ramirez and Paris Hilton all getting their mugs or monikers on wine bottles in 2007, the era of celebrity wine has clearly sunken to new depths. All the more reason to stock up on BYOC, the Bring Your Own Celebrity wine. Available in two varieties—male and female—the customizable label allows you to affix a one-inch head shot of the celebrity of your choice, enabling you to impress your peers, whether you’re headed to a Star Trek convention or dinner with clients. Scissors, glue stick and celebrity images not included.

 

 

{top}

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
 

 

CHANGE 2008 “Victory Cuvée”
The Making of a Candidate continues apace with the announcement that Barack Obama will take time away from the U.S. presidential campaign this fall to oversee his first harvest at CHANGE, an ultrapremium winery located at an undisclosed site in America. This pre-harvest “victory cuvée” label mockup makes a strong statement about his confidence coming into this year’s election and harvest. He is committing to a streamlined style of wine—less oak, less alcohol, less frills. Colleagues from the candidate’s monthly tasting group back in Illinois (where he is known as “Burgundy” Obama) say the budding President has a palate to match his rhetorical skills, and see no reason why his political blending experience would not be translated to winemaking. But the real question is: will Hillary now attempt a last-ditch comeback by making the overhaul of direct-shipping regulations the linchpin of her platform? Stay tuned....

{top}

 

 

 

 

 

 
   

 

Introducing: the Pinot Grigio Super-Soaker
New from Santa Margheritaville, this lightweight but powerfully refreshing one-liter squirter is sure to be all the rage this summer. From backyard BBQs and poolside horseplay to lazy days at the beach and bacchanalian picnics, the P.G. Super Soaker delivers blast after blast of pure, innocuous white-wine pleasure. Shoots up to ten feet...can a Super Tuscan can do that?

 

{top} {home}

 
© 2008 Wine For All